Well, something that I wanted to address, I tried to on face book, but I did not do the best of job at it. I do not ever mean to offend anyone!! But I did. I am so sorry to anyone who I did this to.
So I will try to address this here-an avenue where I can explain myself a bit better.
I have been noticing something -both my husband and myself, for the last year...that is just a bit disturbing. As believers, we feel it is important to reach out to others. Reach out to those in our church, and out of our church... We are very willing to do this, have done it for years.
Even though we do this...we are not usually invited to anything or anyone's home unless it is a group celebration (wedding etc) and we have had others say the same thing! So I have been watching for the last year, and seeing that this is a problem in this area as well as other areas of the country ( I have had some tell me about this from other areas)... and I wonder why is this such a problem? Why have others told me the same thing from other areas of the country, why are we seeing this happen?
We have many families and acquaintances that we would consider to be our family and friends, yet we are not invited to their homes. Group things, yes, but just to get together with one or more families?? No, that has happened only twice in the last 2/3 years! Now I am not saying that to complain, but stating it as it is-just a fact.
So Scott and I decided to try to figure it out. Here is what we came up with:
First we had to check a few things:
1.) We thought-do we smell that bad? After all, we do live on a farm, so maybe the farm smell has not been washing off as much as we thought?! Maybe it is that home made soap that I have been making....maybe it is not working...
2.) Do people just not find us fun to be around? I try to smile often! Scott is actually kinda funny, even though he is very quiet! Maybe I talk too much....maybe Scott does not talk enough......It just takes time to get to know us-really...as we get older, maybe were telling the same stories over and over too much...!! We try to not do that...but hey, were older so that's gonna happen!
Here is Scott with a spoon in his mouth, acting funny at a wedding we were at! He was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but added a clear plastic one here..works for us! Well, maybe not.....
I wish we knew the reason, but since we do not, we decided not to dwell on that, but to do something about it ourselves.
So the correct thing to do is for us to reach out, and thus the face book message-I was just hoping to share/spring to action-others---to encourage them to also reach out! (esp after hearing from yet others across the country who are lonely in their area for fellowship even though they attend a fellowship ---remember my face book friends go all across the country...)
Yes I sounded harsh, but I get to the point. If it causes you to think, good that is what it should do. If you think I am talking about you-no I am not, it is a general observation.
We changed our world here--Scott and I, this past fall/winter we decided to make a commitment that we would invite a family over each week for a meal, making a goal to spend time with each family at least once a year. Our ultimate goal is to invite everyone over more than once a year, not more than 3-4 families at a time, so we can try to really get to know everyone that is in our lives. We try to have a family over each week, although there are some weeks that we can not, because I have clients due, and my husband is not too thrilled to have a house full of guests and then I leave for a birth and leave him here alone to play host and hates wearing the dress the hostess should wear!
What we have learned is:
Humans are just like chickens. We have a pecking order.
I describe it like a bulls eye. There is a center of the bulls-eye and at least 2 to 3 rings around the center.
The center represents those families who are always invited to everything, they are the popular ones, everyone one wants to spend time with them. The next ring represents those families who are often invited to most all functions, or often to peoples homes for dinner...
You get the rest.
It is the outer ring that I feel sorry for, but then I am always feeling for the underdogs...those least popular people who are almost always alone on the weekend, or on 'game day' or special occasions. (now, if you have been invited to our home for dinner, do not assume that I consider you to be a underdog!-please do not read into what I am trying to say!)
I am always sticking up for those who are alone, feel lonely, ignored, have needs, even a lot of them or only a few.....thus the need to do mission work... that is me....always reaching out to others in need...lonely...etc...
What happens when there is someone new at church for example? I know that if someone visits for the first time, not everyone is gonna invite them over to their home right away! That is not what I am talking about, but for those who are sorta new to a church or synagogue or, your gathering, do you reach out to them? Or are they always sitting alone? Are we doing what we can to include others?
If you know me, you will know a few things:
1.) If I have a problem with you personally I will address you
directly, not on a public forum.
2.) I will stick up for the underdog, the least among us, no
matter the cost. (and in my past, it has cost me a LOT)
3.) I do not lie, and I hate lies.
4.) You can come to me with anything, I will listen, I will not
spread rumors, I will keep what you tell me a secret, I do
not hear and talk.
5.) I am always approachable...
So with this said, the point I was trying to make on face book is not to point out one person, or one group, not to pick on anyone, or any group, but for each of us to think about our lives and how we are being seen by others. No event or person spawned me to say anything.
Nothing happened in my life to get me to say something, it is just a time when I thought something should be said, after observing things for a year --not just from this area but all around the country.
I just want people to think. That is all.
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