Listening is a important part of doing the job I do...but it is also an important part of life. We should all be good listeners.
Here is a few question's for you:
1. Do you interrupt people when they are talking?
2. Do you think about the answer or response your going to give before the person is done speaking and telling you what they have to say?
3. Do you find yourself talking more than others?
4. Do people ever just try to walk away or get away from you when your talking?
5. Do you but in and interrupt and finish the sentence for people?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then you are NOT a good listener. Communication is a two way street and your on a one way street...you are prideful and making it all about you! Now before you get mad, read on!
Think about this: You have been given two ears and one mouth. What does that tell you? Listen twice as much as you talk. I think GOD wants us to be good listeners and slow to speak...
People who interrupt and finish the sentence for people are rude, disrespectful and full of pride. Does what you have to say ---is that really more important than what the person talking has to say? Is that the way you are to respond as a believer? Is that loving?
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness Proverbs !5:2
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:28
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. James 1:19-22
So we are to be slow to speak...and swift to hear. What does that tell you about a conversation?
Do you talk and talk and go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on (get the hint?)
Listening requires that you REALLY listen, really pay attention, and really hear the person.
So what does it mean to listen?
How do you listen?
It means you are not thinking of something else while the other person is talking, you are not thinking of what your response will be while they are talking, but you are really focused on what that person is saying.
Once they are done talking-there will be a time of silence and this is when you are to think about what your response will be.
The american white culture is afraid of silence. Most people are very uncomfortable with a time of quiet-
In cultures where they have fewer words, and really listen to each other as they speak-there are often huge amounts of time -of silence.
Are you uncomfortable with silence?
Do you feel you need to fill the void --when no one is speaking? If there is a time of silence do you find yourself either chattering or changing the subject just to 'talk and say something?"
In the Lakota culture there are few words, and they do not chatter. They have for the most part been very good listeners. I see this with the people I take out there to serve: they often can not deal with that part of their culture. The quiet. The times of silence. Often the people I take out there to serve are very uncomfortable with this silence. They will take it personally, like the person does not like them or something. But the Lakota do not talk as much as whites do, and they will take the time to really listen and think about a response. That leaves most people in an uncomfortable-silence.
Listening skills are important for a marriage. If you are not listening to each other-you will find that problems arise that other wise might not even be an issue. The wife will be saying, well I told you this and that...and the husband will be saying no you did not...sound familiar?
Try this with your spouse (or if your not married try this with a friend)
Tell a story and talk for 2 minutes. Then have the person repeat the story back to you-see how much of it they get right. Then you do it for them. Most people will not be able to repeat the whole story back.
If you do not work on your listening skills it could help destroy your marriage, your friend ships, your work relationships, and even have adverse effects on your children.
So take the time today to really listen to your wife, your husband or your children...
pay attention...and improve a relationship...!
Blessings
Ireena
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